Dear Indiana Department of Revenue,
Despite what your electronic payment system claims, my last name is a valid last name. I know it's different from a lot of last names here in the States (there's only one other person in the world who has it, and that's my sister), but trust me, it is a valid last name.
No Love,
Liz
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I guess I should explain.
My last name is hyphenated. You don't really see a lot of hyphenated surnames here in the States, but it is a common practice supposedly in Spanish-speaking nations and the UK. My mom told me that she was inspired by the "British way." The only other person I've personally known who has had a similar name like mine (hyphenated) was one of my friends in high school, whose family originated from Puerto Rico and Spain.
I love my last name. It consists of two common names, and when said together, has this charming lilt. It's a deceptively simple name to pronounce, which has lead to much personal agony and annoyance over the years; whenever in a class or an interview, I always hold my breath to when the teacher or hiring supervisor gets to my last name. There's ALWAYS an awkward pause on their part; the longer the pause, the higher the probability that they'll completely butcher my name. The hyphen is what normally throws people off, tricking them into believing that the name needs to be pronounced all together in the space of two syllables, instead of three (which it actually is).
As problematic as the hyphen is for other people, exclusion of the hyphen always hurts me more than people fumbling over my name. From the fourth grade - when the schools started us on standardized tests - I've been forced to leave out the hyphen on "official" forms, whether scantron or electronic payment on my taxes. I've had to write my name as either one long word (which is awkward) or two separate names (which is really awkward). The hyphen provides a comfortable buffer between the two names: they're two different names, but they're united by one little character. It's like Ankh-Morpork in the Discworld novels - two separate cities that merged into one; they retain their original elements as different cities, but the official boundaries have long since merged and mingled.
By deleting the hyphen, the government or official testing institutions are making me delete the finer nuances of my identity. I have no contact whatsoever with my father or his side of the family, but having his last name assimilated into mine, it reminds me of that side of my heritage. Also, it expresses the feeling of alienation I have on my mom's side of the family. I don't fit in very well with them, and perhaps this is the reason why: I haven't completely assumed their name and with that, their familial identity. I get along well enough with that side of the family, but don't feel that I belong entirely. A hyphenated name expresses the feelings that I've been grappling with for years.
My hyphen is as much a part of my last name as the vowels and consonants. Leaving it out leaves out a piece of me. Some people might see it as something silly to be agonizing over, but when they've lived my life (which was full of much suck for many years and has been progressively getting better since I've grown into my own), they'll realize that many times, my last name was all that I had.
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Things that will make me incredibly happy wrt my last name:
- "Are you married?" People might find this insulting, but I get delighted at this question, because I can answer, "No; my last name is actually my mother's and father's." While they're waaaay off mark about my relationship status, at least the questioner realizes one reason for the hyphenation of surnames.
- Whenever people pronounce my name correctly. It means that they realize that the hyphen simply connects two names. If you're able to pronounce my last name, I'll love you for however long it will take me to find a part of your personality that completely repels me and makes me feel disgusted for loving you over a small detail. (I have yet to find that small fault with![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
everysecondtuesday)
- When somebody asks me to pronounce my last name. Yeah, it's annoying at times, but it's much better than having them butcher it.
Despite what your electronic payment system claims, my last name is a valid last name. I know it's different from a lot of last names here in the States (there's only one other person in the world who has it, and that's my sister), but trust me, it is a valid last name.
No Love,
Liz
-------
I guess I should explain.
My last name is hyphenated. You don't really see a lot of hyphenated surnames here in the States, but it is a common practice supposedly in Spanish-speaking nations and the UK. My mom told me that she was inspired by the "British way." The only other person I've personally known who has had a similar name like mine (hyphenated) was one of my friends in high school, whose family originated from Puerto Rico and Spain.
I love my last name. It consists of two common names, and when said together, has this charming lilt. It's a deceptively simple name to pronounce, which has lead to much personal agony and annoyance over the years; whenever in a class or an interview, I always hold my breath to when the teacher or hiring supervisor gets to my last name. There's ALWAYS an awkward pause on their part; the longer the pause, the higher the probability that they'll completely butcher my name. The hyphen is what normally throws people off, tricking them into believing that the name needs to be pronounced all together in the space of two syllables, instead of three (which it actually is).
As problematic as the hyphen is for other people, exclusion of the hyphen always hurts me more than people fumbling over my name. From the fourth grade - when the schools started us on standardized tests - I've been forced to leave out the hyphen on "official" forms, whether scantron or electronic payment on my taxes. I've had to write my name as either one long word (which is awkward) or two separate names (which is really awkward). The hyphen provides a comfortable buffer between the two names: they're two different names, but they're united by one little character. It's like Ankh-Morpork in the Discworld novels - two separate cities that merged into one; they retain their original elements as different cities, but the official boundaries have long since merged and mingled.
By deleting the hyphen, the government or official testing institutions are making me delete the finer nuances of my identity. I have no contact whatsoever with my father or his side of the family, but having his last name assimilated into mine, it reminds me of that side of my heritage. Also, it expresses the feeling of alienation I have on my mom's side of the family. I don't fit in very well with them, and perhaps this is the reason why: I haven't completely assumed their name and with that, their familial identity. I get along well enough with that side of the family, but don't feel that I belong entirely. A hyphenated name expresses the feelings that I've been grappling with for years.
My hyphen is as much a part of my last name as the vowels and consonants. Leaving it out leaves out a piece of me. Some people might see it as something silly to be agonizing over, but when they've lived my life (which was full of much suck for many years and has been progressively getting better since I've grown into my own), they'll realize that many times, my last name was all that I had.
-------
Things that will make me incredibly happy wrt my last name:
- "Are you married?" People might find this insulting, but I get delighted at this question, because I can answer, "No; my last name is actually my mother's and father's." While they're waaaay off mark about my relationship status, at least the questioner realizes one reason for the hyphenation of surnames.
- Whenever people pronounce my name correctly. It means that they realize that the hyphen simply connects two names. If you're able to pronounce my last name, I'll love you for however long it will take me to find a part of your personality that completely repels me and makes me feel disgusted for loving you over a small detail. (I have yet to find that small fault with
everysecondtuesday)- When somebody asks me to pronounce my last name. Yeah, it's annoying at times, but it's much better than having them butcher it.
no subject
Date: 2010-04-16 10:14 am (UTC)From:I am glad to have warning that you are searching? D:
We should get together sometime this next week or so! Are you interested by Kick Ass? I kind of want to watch it and see the eleven year old super hero Hit Girl.
no subject
Date: 2010-04-18 12:10 am (UTC)From:I'd love to see Kick Ass :D As far as I know, I'm free Monday, unless you want to meet up tomorrow after I get off of work? (I only work until 5)