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I want to tell my sister about my sexuality, preferences, and (ideally) my thoughts on my gender (which I haven't discussed here, and will eventually when I can find the right words). Despite being a practicing Catholic, she's a straight ally, she's passionate about LGBT issues, and she's extremely vocal about gay rights. Honestly? The best sister a gal could have.
It's really hard coming out to her, though.
It was easy with people at work (the zoo didn't care, and my manager in my retail job is gay and we all get along enough where we can talk about our personal lives). It was easy with close friends - they were all supportive. It's not easy with my sister, who I know will be awesome about it.
I don't even know why :/
I tried telling her over the past months on a number of occasions. I'd practice what I would say in my head, I'd take deep breathes to calm myself, and then call her. I think my mistake was that when she picked up, I would ask her how she's doing, instead of saying, "Hey, I have something to tell you." She had just moved up to Minnesota for a job, she was really trying to find her place in a new community, and she was having guy troubles, so the conversations always became about her. By the end of them, I had talked myself out of telling her, because (this being me) I felt it was insignificant compared to all that she's going through.
I really want to come out to her, and I really want her to understand that I'm a 4, close to 5, on the Kinsey Scale. I want to tell her the truth about Beate (because "lover" explains everything so much better than "really good friend" and vague connotations). I want to tell her that if I choose to get married, I don't really see myself being married to a man.
I want her to know that I'm living in the closet at home, and it's harder than hell, especially since our mother is becoming increasingly homophobic. And that I really need somebody in the family to know so that I can be more open, because it's really hard to keep on pretending that I'm 100% straight and just "disinterested" in dating.
It's really hard coming out to her, though.
It was easy with people at work (the zoo didn't care, and my manager in my retail job is gay and we all get along enough where we can talk about our personal lives). It was easy with close friends - they were all supportive. It's not easy with my sister, who I know will be awesome about it.
I don't even know why :/
I tried telling her over the past months on a number of occasions. I'd practice what I would say in my head, I'd take deep breathes to calm myself, and then call her. I think my mistake was that when she picked up, I would ask her how she's doing, instead of saying, "Hey, I have something to tell you." She had just moved up to Minnesota for a job, she was really trying to find her place in a new community, and she was having guy troubles, so the conversations always became about her. By the end of them, I had talked myself out of telling her, because (this being me) I felt it was insignificant compared to all that she's going through.
I really want to come out to her, and I really want her to understand that I'm a 4, close to 5, on the Kinsey Scale. I want to tell her the truth about Beate (because "lover" explains everything so much better than "really good friend" and vague connotations). I want to tell her that if I choose to get married, I don't really see myself being married to a man.
I want her to know that I'm living in the closet at home, and it's harder than hell, especially since our mother is becoming increasingly homophobic. And that I really need somebody in the family to know so that I can be more open, because it's really hard to keep on pretending that I'm 100% straight and just "disinterested" in dating.
