lizfu: (Bobby don't take no shit)
This is a really stupid post, but I have to make it anyway; it's important.

I had a dream, in which an outcome occurred that I didn't want. Upon waking up, I was bummed out, but then, I realized what I have to do, what I have to become, and what I want to be. I realized that I have to be a little more selfish with the things I want; normally, I just stand aside and let other people take these things, because I labor under this delusion that if people want the things that I want, I should just step aside, because I'm not as deserving as they are. It's cowardice and deprivation masquerading as altruism; I've convince myself that not fighting for something (or someone) and giving it (them) up so easily are the right things. If I'm selfish about something, then I'll fight for it; if I'm willing to fight for it, then I'm passionate. This is part of what I want to be: passionate enough to hold my ground and hold onto what I really want.
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January 2019

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